Murray Bowen, one of the fathers of family therapy, believed that we all marry someone of the same “level of differentiation” as ourselves. What this means in layman’s terms is that while our stuff may manifest differently from the stuff of our significant other, we have exactly the same amount. And the interaction of our respective-same-amount-of-stuff will keep playing […]
“You can be right or you can be married” is a saying of the famous couples therapist, Terry Real*. He even goes so far as to list “being right” as the first of five losing strategies. Yet it’s also one of the most difficult concepts for distressed couples to grasp, especially if being right is […]
“Those who ask don’t get, and those who don’t ask, don’t want!” This was one of my grandfather’s favorite sayings; albeit delivered with a twinkle in his eye, but delivered nonetheless – mostly when he caught my siblings and I looking hopefully at the sweetie-tin on the mantlepiece, the ice-cream van in the park, or […]
As a licensed therapist who recently became a certified coach, I am frequently asked to explain the difference between therapy and coaching. Sometimes I can’t tell if the enquirer is genuinely interested or merely being polite, so I have a few nutshell responses to offer before seeing where the conversation takes us. “Therapy is about […]
There are many factors at play in choosing the right therapist for you. The most obvious are logistical, such as location, cost, insurance coverage and appointment availability, but there are a number of other important issues that are vital to consider before making that first appointment. Relationship Research shows that the relationship between the client […]
Gadget recommendations Recommendations on books about couple and family relationships Books about the brain and healing from trauma Books to deepen our thinking and wonder and change how we live our lives Frequently recommended Apps Andrew Johnson Relax Plus Insight Timer Gottman Card Decks Telehealth by Simplepractice (for virtual/video sessions)
All living bodies are predisposed towards healing. If we have a cut or a bruise or even a sprained ankle, our bodies will usually be able to repair themselves, whether or not we understand how. Sometimes, with more serious injuries, our bodies need help to start the healing process – wounds need to be cleaned; […]
Nightmares, flashbacks, hyper vigilance and insomnia are all typical symptoms of trauma and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). But while most sufferers believe that there must be something “wrong” with them, the symptoms are actually part of the human survival system. Allow Jane to explain. If a truck ran over our foot, we would expect […]
Although PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) is a condition typically associated with returning military personnel, it is important to recognize that many of us suffer from the impact of trauma, whether or not we realize it or know where it originated. Understanding trauma Trauma can occur through any situation that threatens our safety or sense of […]
“Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time”. Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist Panic disorder is an extremely debilitating condition. Many sufferers report symptoms of heart palpitations and hyperventilation, the fear of being out of control and an impending sense of doom. For many sufferers, panic attacks may […]
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