Bad Stuff
the space between therapy and coaching
Because life happens
the space between therapy and coaching
Because life happens
“Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.”
Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
This seemingly non-sensical quote from the novelist, Paulo Coehlo, turns out to be the perfect way to describe what we go through when bad stuff happens.
The first time something bad happens, our survival system is able to recognize that while it was indeed bad, it was a one-time event, and is unlikely to happen again. We take stock of what happened, tuck it away, and move on with our lives.
The next time something bad happens, however – especially something that looks like, sounds like, smells like or feels like what happened before – our survival system kicks into gear. “That wasn’t a random, chance event!” it says. “It could happen any time and you need to be ready for it!” Enter in anxiety, sleep disturbances, intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, disturbing dreams, physical complaints that doctors can’t explain and many other manifestations of a self unsafe in its world.
While some clients know what their triggering event was – a car crash, a mugging, a botched surgery, a sexual assault, an abusive relationship, the loss of a child – they may not know that prior events may be contributing to what they’re feeling. In fact, most clients are surprised to learn that their symptoms are probably manifestations of trauma.
Situations that Jane regularly works with include:
The magic of Jane’s healing approach is not so much in her techniques (though they’re pretty cool too) but rather her conceptualization that symptoms are trying to protect us.
By asking herself the question, “why does this make sense?” Jane is able to get to the root of many presenting issues that have sometimes been missed by other professionals for years.
Why would it make sense to suffer chronic yeast infections with no “medical” reason? To suddenly be unable to sleep? To suffer through violent nightmares or disturbing dreams? To be unable to finish a PhD or take that last class to graduate? To be a professional musician but struggle with stage fright? To flush bright red every time you have to introduce yourself? To become unaccountably angry or scared by relatively innocuous encounters?
Jane is fascinated by the life-story of every client and in awe of their courage and strength for all that they’ve come through. Most of all, however, she is intrigued by the ingenuity of symptoms and the ways we find to protect ourselves. Her process of honoring that ingenuity and how it came into being, and updating it to fit the current time and place, brings healing, peace and a new sense of wellbeing in the world.