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Dating Coaching
the space between therapy and coaching
Because you’re worth it
What is dating coaching?
The word at the gym is that love is scarce and all the good ones are taken. Movies and radio-shows make features out of dating nightmares. And let’s face it, we’re all sick of dick-pics, mirror-selfies, emotional-unavailability and otherwise boorish (or simply boring) behaviors. But what if the reason we focus on the misery is because it’s safer than owning what we really, really want?
Jane is no stranger to love, dating and overcoming disappointment.
As a coach and marriage & family therapist, she took courage from her client’s stories, and, with team of therapists, coaches and energy healers behind her, found the strength to leave a difficult marriage, put herself out there and truly find her happily-ever-after. Since then she has successfully coached many clients in her 5-step process of learning how to love, date and land someone great.
Step 1 – learning to love
Learning to love starts with loving ourselves, which most of us are stunningly bad at. Jane’s initial step is to address past trauma, negative core-beliefs and blocks to self-love to help clients start believing that abundant, beautiful love is not only possible, but that they truly deserve it.
Step 2: Creating our personalized list
We spend so much time considering what kind of person would make the perfect employee, roommate and pet-sitter, yet we expect our life-partner to fall into our lap. It’s time to apply the employee, roommate and pet-sitter principles to our dating life, without worrying about being fair or politically correct.
Jane will work with you to define your list of ideal attributes in your new mate – from profession to body-type – with no guilt or shame for naming exactly what floats your boat.
Step 3: Putting ourselves out there
There’s an old joke about a man who repeatedly prays to God that he would win the lottery. Every week he checks the results, and every week, he finds he hasn’t won. Eventually, he cries out to God, “why won’t you answer my prayer?” And God responds, “Do you think you could you meet me half way and buy a ticket?”
The moral of the story: it’s unlikely we’re going to meet our new mate in the grocery store. Getting on a dating site increases the size of our pool, and if we’re serious about meeting someone new, we might need to give our guardian angels a little help. Jane will advise you on the merits of different dating sites, educate you on warning signs to look out for, and assist you with your profile so you can give your those angels a fighting chance.
Step 4: Dating strategy
One of the main causes of dating disappointment could be easily avoided if we all stopped messaging for weeks on end and arranged to meet right away for a low-key cup of coffee or glass of wine.
Typically we know within the first five minutes of meeting someone whether there’s the possibility of a relationship or not.
If it’s a not, we’ve only lost an hour, we’ve got more information to hone our list and, just like buses, there’ll be another one along in ten minutes. This approach, which Jane affectionately refers to as “abundance dating”, takes all the pressure off and allows most people to meet their special someone within just a few dates.
And, on the rare occasion that every date is a disaster, it’s time to troubleshoot which part of the process has fallen down and take an honest look at the energy we’re putting out.
Step 5: Landing someone great
If the steps are followed closely, it shouldn’t be long until you truly land someone great, but it’s important to do a gut-check. Jane will walk you through paying attention to your body to keep you safe, and teach you about relational communication and problem-solving strategies. She’ll also discuss what’s appropriate to expect from your new mate as you move towards long-term exclusivity.