Transitional Stuff
the space between therapy and coaching
Because life happens
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““Maybe living through it isn’t the only hard part. Maybe being in the world afterward is also the hard part.”
Casey Plett, Little Fish
Life is a series of transitions
Some we barely notice. Some we plan for. Some we greatly anticipate. Some we absolutely dread. Some we know are coming but try not to think about. Some come out of left field and test our reflexes. Some blindside us and leave us devastated. Some divide our lives into before and after. Many we could use help navigating.
Types of transitions
Transitions Jane frequently works with include:
- Grief and Loss
- Divorce
- Dating
- Careers
- Life changes
Grief & loss
As a culture, we’re not very good at dealing with grief. Whether we’ve lost a spouse, a parent or a child, a relationship, a limb, a lifestyle, a career, a dream, or even what we believed was our life purpose, we need to take time to grieve.
Grief has many layers: what we actually lost, what we deserved and didn’t get, what we longed for and didn’t have, our dreams for the future that will never be realized, our loss of trust in the universe that apparently didn’t have our back. Unprocessed grief comes out sideways in many forms – including depression, anxiety, sleep disturbances and somatic complaints. We all need to deal with our grief.
Jane’s gentle, compassionate approach to grief figures out where the grieving process is stuck, unsticks it and de-traumatizes it. She then integrates our before and after selves and gets us moving forward in the world again. While we will never regain exactly what we lost, we may find our joy to be richer, deeper and more precious because of it.
Divorce
If our culture is bad at dealing with grief, it’s really bad at dealing with divorce. Thousands of generations of religious and cultural shame come piling down to create a miserable mess of uncertainty, fear, financial hardship and a sense of failure – of relationship, of social status, of hopes and dreams.
Divorce isn’t for the faint of heart, and it speaks to how deeply unhappy we must be to even consider going through it. Many of us know for years that it will need to happen before we can even begin to admit it to ourselves.
The good news is that whether we want to divorce or improve our marriage, the first step is always the same: we need to work on ourselves. Jane will help you walk through the history of your relationship, the hopes you had for it, how to take back your power and improve the day-to-day and help you decide whether what you have is enough to stay for. And if it isn’t, she’ll walk you through that too.
Dating
On the other side of divorce, of course, is dating. Many of us are so fearful of being alone for the rest of our lives, of starting all over again, or of bouncing from dating horror-story to dating horror-story that we stay in a miserable marriage for much longer than we should.
Jane’s approach to dating changes all that. In her opinion (which she shares in her 5-session dating package) dating should be both abundant and fun. The worst that should happen is that we spend an hour getting a good story to share with friends. The best is that we meet someone new who treats us with interest and respect and wants to see us again. The middle ground is that we find a new restaurant, share some good conversation and wish each other well. What’s not to love?
Careers
Changing careers can be a little like trying to stay married while planning for a divorce and dating all at the same time – exhausting, stressful and overwhelming. How do you keep the money coming in while meaningfully exploring what else might be out there, and how to go about it?
Jane will help you figure out your values: what’s being honored and what’s not. What you love to do. What would bring the magical fit of what you love, what you’re good at, and what you can make money doing. And then she’ll help you find it.
Life Changes
Life changes come in all shapes and sizes – some welcome, some not, some unexpected, some planned. All come with anticipation and often with anxiety. We could all use someone in our corner to be a sounding board, cheerleader, empathizer and coach along the way. Jane will be all that and more, whatever your transition.
